Reflecting on 2017

Honestly, I can't believe that there are less than 2 hours left of 2017.  Probably like most, there have been plenty of ups and downs this past year, but I am not going to reflect on coulda, woulda, shoulda.  I am going to end this year by reflecting on how I've grown in a few aspects of my life.

Courage: Merriam-Webster defines courage as "mental or moral strength to venture, persevere and withstand danger, fear or difficulty."  This year I've had the courage to not give up when I very easily could have, the courage to take on a new job that was completely out of my comfort zone and the courage to open myself up on this blog to those who know me and those who don't.  

Confidence:  I came to the realisation early in the year that people in my life were dramatically influencing my self-belief, not in a good way either.  Not that it's been easy, I've begun to have a "I'm-ok-with-that-person-not-liking-me" attitude.... and, boy, is that freeing!  WHY in the world have I wasted so many years trying to impress people that I really don't like either.  I will only fight so long to keep a friendship alive; it either is or isn't.

I love writing this blog; I love sharing my thoughts about my money-saving mindset in the hopes that it helps someone.  It's my creative outlet.  Some people write music or paint amazing paintings or sew quilts.  Not me; this is how I'm creative AND completely practical.  I've noticed that whenever I go to discuss this blog with anyone, there's suddenly dead silence.  Ok... I don't exactly know what to think about it, but honestly, I don't care... much.  I do care what my readers think about this blog, but honestly, if someone doesn't like it or I write something that offends them (though I seriously don't intend to do that) and they decide to stop reading it, fine by me.... all the best to them.

"Lauren, that's just weird."  Yep, that's weird, I'm weird... I don't do what's "normal".  My confidence has led me to go against the grain - it's not normal to save, it's not normal to budget, it's not normal to voice "one's" opinion about life and living.  What's "normal" is to have debt, buy things to impress others and to live in the moment. My life may be seen as old-fashioned and hum-drum... ok, sure, if that's the way the perceiver wants to perceive my life.  I hope to prove the contrary.

"No one ever made a difference by being like everyone else." - watch the trailer for The Greatest Showman here to see what I mean.

Contentment: For the past 2-3 years, the Lord has been working in my heart to help me to stop fighting the desire for different circumstances, better this and more of that.  He has been teaching me to be thankful for what He has given me and to appreciate the "simple" things in life.  A big... no, HUGE... part of my money-saving mindset depends on this idea of contentment...of having enough, of being enough, of doing enough. 

In 2018, I do hope and pray that I will continue to grow in courage, in confidence and in contentment while also learning how to simplify and streamline my life to allow for what's truly important to me. 

In 2018, this blog will change - I'm not exactly sure how, but I do know for sure that it will take a more biblical approach.  For a few months now, I've felt the Lord pulling me to make this blog more of a ministry, an outreach. If this offends the reader, no apologies, I wish them the best on the path they choose if they no longer want to read this blog.  No, I definitely don't know everything about life, the Bible or finances, but I know enough. I know that if I don't take this step of faith I will not be following the Lord's prompting.  I want to walk along side you.  I hope you continue on this adventure with me.

Unexpected Blessings and Expenses

Right, confession time.  As much as I love to find ways to save money, live somewhat frugally and follow a budget, things don't always go as planned.  At the beginning of the month, if not a day or two before the start of each month, I plan our spending for the upcoming month, which shows me where I can expect our money to go, allows us to save for future events and gives me freedom to spend within the limits of our budget.  However, sometimes unexpected expenses arise or I simply forget to include expenditures... and sometimes I think, "oh well, just buy it anyway". (Not good!)

The past few days all of these things happened. We planned a family morning out to a local farm for a tractor ride and pumpkin picking.  We did this last year and the girls really enjoyed it.  So we forked out the £21.50 again to do this, but it was will probably be our last time because it's simply not worth the money.  I LOVE pumpkins, though, so this is somewhat meaningful to me.  So the cost of the tractor ride and pumpkins fit in our budget, as this is the only family "fun" we have planned for the rest of the month.  However, the £8 spent on the picture above, taken by a photographer running around the pumpkin patch, was not budgeted for... but aren't my pumpkins so darn cute?!  Then there was the "snack" that I swore up and down before we left the house that morning that we wouldn't be buying any snacks or taking any snacks with us because my kids didn't eat much for breakfast that I went ahead and bought.  My kids were hungry and smell of the sausages being grilled at the farm shop were seriously luring... and then I uncharacteristically said "yes" to a coffee when the lady asked if I wanted a cup with the sausages.  Ka-ching!  There went another £9.50 for a snack we could have avoided and didn't really need.  I added these extra costs to my budget, but it leaves very little wiggle room for the second half of the month.

Saturday evening, my husband and I got dolled up for an evening wedding reception.  In case anyone couldn't tell... I didn't buy anything new to wear.  I am not gifted with any sort of fashion sense! I am blessed by super friends who babysit the girls for a few hours every once in a while for nothing but a hug in exchange, one of whom babysat the girls for us that evening.  Of course I'd happily babysit their children when the need arises, too.  Unfortunately, though, just as we started the car... thankfully it started just fine... we immediately noticed the dash didn't light up and the speedometer didn't work.  Oh boy.  Again, we are super blessed to have a fantastic mechanic (although he's about 25 minutes away) who was able to fit in our car today.  Thankfully, the cause of the panel not working was due to a fault in the software which he was able to fix and no expensive parts were required. Yay!  This £35 fix was unexpected, though, and put us "in the red" for the time being in the "Vehicle Servicing" category of our budget.  Grrr... and with a MOT (saved for on a monthly basis) and a major service expected in December, we will have to save more than we usually do in November and December to pay for this. 

I also forgot to account for a wedding gift for the bride and groom whose reception we attended. It was a small financial gift, because the groom is my husband's colleague and we have never met his wife, but still it put our budget "in the red" in the "Gifts for Others" category on our budget. Again, we can re-coop this cost in November, but I really don't like overspending then having to play catch up.

On Sunday a dear friend at church gave me a surprise bag of goodies of surplus goodies she had in her kitchen, as seen in the picture above.  I was absolutely delighted - think two school girls giggling in class - with a jar of raspberry jam, whole nutmeg (I think I'll pass on a few of these to my friends) and a jar of good-quality cocoa powder.  This friend also brought in two boxes of Bramley apples from her garden to share with the church, so I also gratefully helped myself to 4 of those (after others helped themselves first, of course).  My husband would like me to make an apple pie with these apples and I'd like to try to make homemade apple cider vinegar from the apple peels following the recipe the same friend told me about last week. 

I wish I had taken a picture of the large pot of chicken "noodle" soup I whipped up on Sunday, but I didn't think it would turn out as delicious as it had.  I bought two medium-sized whole chickens from the farm shop on Saturday for £7.  Wow, £3.50 each for great-quality chickens.  After our roast chicken dinner on Sunday, there was just enough chicken leftover to add to a pot of soup.  I have never made chicken noodle soup before, but, hey, how hard could it be, right?  I sauteed some onion and celery in a bit of the chicken fat and the burnt bits on the bottom of the Dutch oven from the roast chicken.  Since Aldi didn't have a bag of carrots (can you believe it?!) I used some mixed vegetables in the soup instead.  I also was able to use up a jar of homemade vegetable stock another friend gifted me a few months ago (she was a recipient of some of my homemade vanilla extract).  A bag of giant couscous has been sitting in my cupboard for months now, so I decided to finally put them to use in this soup - hence why it's not really chicken noodle soup.  I was delighted when my kids ate up this soup this evening for supper - they have never had chicken noodle soup before either.  There's even a couple of generous portions left over for tomorrow's lunch. 

Last but not least, we decided to go ahead and buy our 3-year-old's new big girl bed about a year and a half before we originally planned.  Just before our older daughter turned 5 in March, we bought her a big girl bed, but since then, our younger daughter has also been wanting her big girl bed, claiming that her toddler bed is uncomfortable.  We have waited a few months to buy her bed but went ahead and made the move last week.  We did our research and my husband found out that we could save almost 50% on beds through his company's discount website.  Maybe we should have waited another month or two to bulk up the "Home Expenditures" section of our budget because now we're slightly overspent in this category, too.  Any other plans we have for the house will have to be put on hold another 6 or so months until we can save up for the next big purchase.

The reason I'm sharing this is to prove that in no way am I anywhere near perfect in my spending or money-saving mindset.  I'm still learning from mistakes and struggle with needs versus wants.  But there are also so many ways to find pennies in everyday life and to focus on contentment and the many blessings in our lives. 

The True Cost of Stuff

My family and I returned earlier this week from our wonderful annual trip "home" to Ohio.  We spent lots of time together and with our extended family, visited fun places, ate some really yummy American food and helped my mom and step-dad prepare for their move in a few day's time.  This house move preparation mostly took place in the evenings; instead of enjoying time with my husband, reading or going for an evening walk, I posted Barbie toys and New Kids on the Block memorabilia... I was head-over-heals for Joey... to different selling sites and sorted through boxes of papers from my school days. Fun! (Not.)

My mom and step-dad have graciously stored what seems like every toy and school report from my childhood for almost 14 years - the time I've been living in Europe.  This means many, many, many boxes containing My Little Pony toys, Cabbage Patch Kids dolls and clothing, love notes and poems (yes! poems!) from a high school boyfriend, report cards from elementary school through high school and school music programs among many, many other things.  Do you get the picture?  All of this stuff has been taking up space in my parents' garage, basement and closets for all this time.  I'm even more amazed to think that the toys from my early childhood have also been moved to other houses at least 3 times before this.

The decals weren't ever put on the toy!  

I vaguely remember playing with this toy but we never made ice cream in the ice cream maker.

Here's the thing though.  These things could have been played with then sold, given away or thrown away a long time ago.  But they weren't.  Why?  A big reason is that I have a tendency to form an emotional attachment to things, not really use or play with it and just simply leave them on a shelf or squirrel them away.  Of those Barbie toys, I think I played with... exactly... NONE of them.  Nope.  The decals weren't even put on toys!  So my parents (or Santa) paid for them, they were put somewhere in our house, then moved many times, then stored for many years...

.... until a month ago when I promised my mom and my step-dad that they would never have to move my unnecessary things ever again... and this meant committing my evenings to figuring out what to do with stuff.  To make a long story short(er), I tried to sell this stuff on eBay, different Facebook selling pages, letgo and Shpock.  Oh, the toys, not the love poems ;o)  Those I put in the recycling bin.  Some of the items did sell, but for far less than I was hoping.

Was it worth it?  Was the $100ish that I earned from selling all of those toys, spending all of those evenings with the stuff instead of with my family, storing those forgotten things year after year and moving them from house to house numerous times worth it?  I think you know the answer: No.  Oh, yeah, and this isn't the first holiday/vacation I've sorted through boxes of "keepsakes" from my childhood during the time in Ohio, either.

The emotional stress of having too much stuff is draining and being surrounded by unwanted stuff is imprisoning.  The cost of stuff isn't just what  is printed on the price tag; add to it the effort it might take to maintain and keep that item and the emotional strain that item places on you, too.

I want to encourage you to simply pause a few seconds before you buy something and ask yourself whether you really love what you're about to buy, will consume it in the near future, use it on a regular basis or add real value to your life. If the answer is "no" to any of these points, simply put that item back on the shelf and walk away. It'll be ok. More than likely, you'll forget about it or simply reflect on how proud you are of yourself for not buying yet another "thing", and as a result, save money and save yourself from future emotional torture.  

I've promised to take a new approach to the stuff in my own house.  I'm still a "squirrel" at heart, but I promise to strive to, little by little, either use, sell, donate or recycle unwanted things in my house - and believe me, there's plenty!

A Bad Hair Fortnight

Ok, I'll admit straight from the get go that I made a money mistake, actually TWO money mistakes, when I recently went to get my hair cut.  After not having my hair cut about 5 months, I finally made an appointment at a nice salon I've been to a few times before.

This is my Before Do.

I spent about 2 months deliberating about where to get my hair cut. I repeatedly considered 3 choices:

#1) at the nice salon where I'd pay the most money, but it'd be in a nice atmosphere, with a massage chair while my hair was washed and a nice coffee and biscuit. Oh, and the scalp massage always feel so nice while the stylist washes my hair.

#2) at the small salon at the gym I go to. I went to her in September, nothing really wrong with my experience there, except it wasn't at the nicer salon, but at the gym I go to 4-5 times a week.  I just wanted to walk in different doors and not be in the gym atmosphere!  But still, I think I got a nice coffee.  This salon is also sort of expensive.

#3) at the home salon of a friend from playgroup.  Although this was the most affordable option I was considering, I simply wanted to feel pampered since I don't go to salons very often, nor do I go for massages, manicures, facials or anything like that.

When I called to make the appointment, I was given the option of two stylists, one for £30 and one for £38. I made it a point to explain that I wanted the stylist to make recommendations for my shorter hair style, because I wasn't entirely sure of the new hair style I wanted.  The lady on the other end of the phone explained that everyone in the salon should be able to do this, but I still chose the more expensive stylist because I thought she'd have the most experience and, thus, give me a better-looking new hair style.

So, two weeks ago I walked through the doors of the nice salon. I got my hair washed but the massage chair wasn't turned on. Bummer.  I should have asked for it to be turned on.  I drank my nice coffee while my hair was cut.  Although I thought I explained pretty well what I wanted, the stylist didn't cut my hair short enough nor graduated or angled. She was about to finish my off my hair, but I hesitantly said that my hair wasn't as short as I had expected it to be.  She seemed frustrated, told me that she'd shorten my hair but she'd have to switch the next client to another stylist. "That's fine, do what you need to", I thought, "but I want my hair to be shorter."

My hair looked pretty nice when she finished putting some waves into my hair with a flat iron, but when I went to pay, I was slightly dismayed when I told it would be £45.  "Didn't the lady on the phone say it'd be £38? Oh, well, never mind," I thought.

I walked out the salon pretty happy, but saw my reflection in the shop window I was walking past.  My hair didn't look like I had explained at all!  The next morning, after washing and blow drying my hair, I thought my hair looked... well... boring. Like just a straight bob.  I am sure I asked for a graduated/angled bob with layers!

This is how my hair looked after my first appointment, but in the evening, so the waves had fallen out a bit.

After talking about my hair with a few friends - one even commented that my hair didn't look like it had been cut by a professional at all - they all encouraged me to ring the salon again to make another appointment. I've never done this before!  I really lacked the confidence to do this, but finally got up enough courage to write an email on Monday.  Wednesday came around and still no reply. So I rang the salon... 3 times... no answer!  I rang back earlier today and explained the situation. I also questioned being charged £45 for my hair cut.  "Your appointment took longer than an hour because your hair was long and wanted a complete restyle and your stylist's next client had to be moved, so we had to charge an extra £7." WHAT?!?!  How is it my fault that the stylist didn't cut my hair short enough the first time around?!  Isn't a hair cut, a hair cut?? "Ok, whatever," I thought.  She still hadn't offered another appointment, so I didn't debate this extra charge with her.

The lady begrudingly offered me an appointment for Friday afternoon.  The now more confident me had asked, "Just to clarify, I won't be charged again, will I?"  I returned to the salon, could tell straight away that they weren't happy to see me again and started to explain to the same stylist I had before exactly what I wanted... again.  I didn't think I'd have to show her a picture because she's a professional and should be able to make suggestions for my hair, but I did anyway. She said, "At least you brought a picture with you this time."  Huh?! I just sat silent although I was seething inside.  I couldn't wait for her to finish. We chit chatted a bit and she cut off more hair all around.  Man, I didn't want it shorter, just taken up at an angle in the back!  I thanked the stylist for her time and walked out.

Here's the "After" cut.


Needless to say, I will NEVER walk in that salon again.  I know it took a lot of explaining to get to the "Lessons Learned", but here's a few big things I've learned:

#1: The amount spent on a hair cut may not reflect outcome.  You may pay less on a hair cut and get a fantastic cut or, like me, you may pay more and not walk out with a less-than-fantastic hair cut.  Although I know that I will likely go to my friend I've been to before next time, I should have asked around for recommendations for stylists.

#2: I should have contended the extra £7 charge for "my" going over time.  The extra charge wasn't discussed with me nor was it my fault that the appointment went over my allotted time.  When I arrived at my appointment, we discussed my shorter cut, so it wasn't a surprise to the stylist that I wanted a new cut and that it may take a while.

#3: If you're completely restyling your hair, take a photo or two of the style you like.  I didn't think I'd need to do this with an expensive, experienced stylist, but I guess it's very helpful.

Please let me know if you have any other additional tips to finding a stylist, understanding pricing at a salon and translating an idea for a hair cut to a stylist.

What the Voss?!

Just as I said to the waitress that I didn't want Voss sparkling water to drink, I heard the crack of the seal and the release of the gas as she opened the bottle.  It was too late.  Yes, I had asked for sparkling water, but I didn't expect her to bring me a bottle of what I think is the most expensive water in the world!

My friend and I were celebrating her birthday early with a girly trip to Birmingham and afternoon tea at a Japanese restaurant.  Up until the Voss was brought to the table, I was patting myself on the back having saved £3.60 by choosing a train station to park at that has free parking as opposed to my usual train station.  There's no real way to save on the train tickets (at least to my knowledge!).  

So after a couple of stops for drinks and lunch and lots of walking, we found the Japanese restaurant for the afternoon tea that I purchased through Groupon, one of my favourite money-saving sites, with a discount code (yep! saved even more!) and even earned some cashback into my KidStart account (more on Kidstart in another blog).

Our Japanese afternoon tea was delicious, and I even managed to use chopsticks without sending the sushi across the restaurant!  But man o man was I annoyed when that water came out.  I had tried to be so savvy when booking this tea, not to cheapen the experience, but it's just the way I think.  I just knew that bottle would mean big money!  I had a bottle of Voss once or twice before years ago when I wasn't paying for my meal, so I knew that I was practically drinking liquid gold.  The bottle cost £4, not the end of the world, but still, I was annoyed. Come on... it's water with a bit of gas!    

Lesson learned: always specifically ask for tap water or know what water/drink you're buying if you're at a restaurant.  My husband and I usually share a larger, but less expensive bottle of sparkling water when we're having a meal in a restaurant, so it's not like I haven't paid for water before.